A gentle, Jesus-centered Christian parenting guide for ages 9–13
Christmas morning is beautiful.
There’s a reason it feels like a small miracle even when nothing “big” happens. The lights are still on. The house smells like cinnamon or coffee or bacon or something warm. Pajamas linger longer than usual. The world is quiet in that rare way it only becomes quiet when people are resting, not when they’re simply asleep.
And then there’s the moment every parent recognizes: the first tear of wrapping paper. The first widened eyes. The first laugh. The first “Thank you!” The first “Can I open the next one?”
We love that moment. We should. Christmas is a gift.
But here’s the truth most families don’t talk about out loud:
Christmas morning is not the hardest part of Christmas.
The days after Christmas are.
Not because they’re bad. Not because Christmas “fails.”
But because the days after Christmas are where the deeper work begins
The world prepares children to believe Christmas is the finish line. A grand finale. A peak experience. Something you “build up to” and then… it’s over.
But the gospel is the opposite.
Christmas is not the end of the story. It’s the beginning of the rescue.
And in many ways, the days after Christmas matter more than Christmas morning because they teach your child what happens when the excitement fades and real life returns.
They teach the heart how to respond when the wrapping paper is gone, the sugar wears off, the calendar quiets down, and the house starts to look normal again.
And that is exactly where Jesus meets us.
Christmas is a moment. Formation is a season.
Christmas morning is a moment of joy. A moment of celebration. A moment of brightness.
But character is formed in seasons, not moments.
Faith is formed in seasons, not moments.
If your child’s spiritual life is fed mainly by “special days,” then faith can begin to feel like something that only exists when life is shiny and exciting.
But the Christian life isn’t built on shine. It’s built on steadiness.
It’s built on trusting Jesus when the music isn’t playing.
It’s built on remembering Light when the room feels dim again.
That’s why the days after Christmas matter so much. They offer a quiet opportunity to teach your child what real joy looks like:
- not thrill
- not hype
- not getting everything you wanted
- but the deep, sturdy gladness that comes from Christ
The world’s version of Christmas is often loud and fast and consumable.
But the Bible’s version begins with a baby in a feeding trough, a teenage mother, and a small family that has to keep living real life the next day.
That is not a fairy tale ending. It’s a holy beginning.
Why kids struggle after Christmas (and why it’s normal)
If you’ve ever noticed your child become edgy, irritable, restless, or even a little down in the days after Christmas, you’re not alone.
For ages 9–13 especially, post-Christmas feelings can be intense. Preteens are old enough to feel the emotional “drop,” but not always old enough to name it.
A few reasons this happens:
1) Their nervous system is coming down from excitement
December can be a month of constant stimulation: parties, treats, screens, late nights, surprise events, travel, anticipation. When all of that stops, their body feels the absence.
2) They’ve been trained to think “more” equals joy
Our culture teaches children to chase the next thing. The next present. The next treat. The next dopamine hit. After Christmas, the “next thing” is suddenly gone.
3) They’re learning what it feels like when anticipation ends
Anticipation can feel like fuel. When it ends, kids sometimes feel empty, even if they’re grateful.
This doesn’t mean your child is ungrateful or spoiled. It means your child is human.
And it means you have an opportunity to shepherd their heart into something stronger than seasonal excitement.
The hidden discipleship opportunity: “What do we do after we’ve received?”
Here is one of the most important spiritual questions a child can learn:
What do I do after I receive something good?
Do I become thankful, or do I become restless?
Do I become generous, or do I become grabby?
Do I worship, or do I crave?
Christmas morning answers one question: What did I get?
The days after Christmas answer a deeper one: Who am I becoming?
This is where Christian parenting becomes more than managing behavior.
It becomes forming a soul.
Because the goal is not to raise children who “act grateful” for a day.
The goal is to raise children who learn how to live grateful lives.
And the days after Christmas are the perfect training ground.
Jesus does not disappear when the decorations come down
A child’s imagination is powerful. If we’re not careful, the season itself can begin to feel like the source of joy. The tree, the lights, the music, the traditions.
Those things can be good. They are not the enemy.
But they are not the foundation.
The foundation is Jesus Himself.
Scripture calls Him the Light of the world. The true Light. The One the darkness cannot overcome.
That Light is not seasonal.
It does not depend on a decorated living room.
It does not leave when the tree goes back in the attic.
One of the gentlest but most important things you can tell a preteen is this:
“Christmas doesn’t end because we put things away. Jesus is still here.”
It sounds almost too simple, but children need that reinforcement. They are learning how to attach their sense of meaning to something solid.
And meaning is not found in the sparkle.
Meaning is found in the Savior.
A simple shift that changes everything: from “getting” to “receiving”
There is a subtle difference between getting and receiving.
Getting is grasping.
Receiving is grateful.
Getting says: “What else can I have?”
Receiving says: “Look what I’ve been given.”
Getting consumes.
Receiving cherishes.
If your child struggles after Christmas, one of the best things you can do is help them move from “getting” to “receiving.”
Here is a short, practical exercise that takes five minutes:
The Three Gifts of Grace
Ask your child (sometime between Christmas and New Year’s):
- What is one gift you received that you’re thankful for?
- What is one moment from December you want to remember?
- What is one way you saw God’s goodness this season?
That last question matters.
Because it turns Christmas from “stuff” into story.
And the Christian faith is not a pile of stuff.
It is the greatest story ever told, centered on Jesus.
The days after Christmas teach children what to do with abundance
Here’s something every child has to learn eventually:
You won’t always want the right thing when you have plenty.
When life is full, the heart can get noisy. Cravings increase. Entitlement grows. Gratitude weakens.
This is not only true for kids. It’s true for adults.
That’s why Scripture speaks often about gratitude, contentment, generosity, and self-control. Those virtues protect the heart when life is abundant.
So the question is not: “How do I keep my child perfectly grateful?”
The question is: “How do I help my child practice gratitude as a habit, not just a feeling?”
Feelings come and go. Habits remain.
A preteen-friendly way to explain the difference between excitement and joy
This one matters, especially for ages 9–13.
Kids are growing into a world where many people chase stimulation like it’s oxygen. The next video. The next scroll. The next trend. The next purchase. The next thrill.
A child who thinks excitement equals joy will struggle.
But a child who learns the difference becomes spiritually strong.
You can explain it like this:
- Excitement is loud and fast.
- Joy is deep and steady.
- Excitement depends on what’s happening.
- Joy depends on who Jesus is.
That’s not just a holiday lesson. That’s a lifelong protection.
A few small “after Christmas” practices that actually work
You don’t need to overhaul your home. You need a few simple anchors that create calm and spiritual clarity.
Here are a handful of practices that fit real life:
1) One “slow evening”
Choose one evening after Christmas where you lower the pace on purpose.
Not as punishment. As relief.
Simple ideas:
- a warm drink
- a read-aloud chapter
- a short prayer
- early bedtime
- no background screens
Kids remember peace. They might not admit it at first, but they do.
2) The Light Question
Once a day (or a few times a week), ask one question:
“Where did you see light today?”
Light can mean:
- kindness
- courage
- truth
- reconciliation
- generosity
- self-control
- a moment of beauty
- a moment where they felt God’s care
This trains children to notice Jesus in ordinary life.
3) A small act of generosity
Let the season of giving continue in a simple way.
- write a thank-you note
- donate one toy they don’t need
- deliver a treat to a neighbor
- encourage a lonely friend
Generosity is one of the best cures for post-Christmas restlessness, because it turns the heart outward.
Why reading is one of the best “after Christmas” tools
The days after Christmas are a strange mix: kids have free time, but they’re often overstimulated. More screens, more sugar, more new toys, more noise.
This is where reading becomes not just educational, but spiritual.
A good story does something screens rarely do:
It slows the heart down.
It teaches patience. It teaches attention. It teaches waiting. It strengthens imagination.
And for Christian families, stories can also form moral imagination: the ability to recognize good and evil, truth and lies, courage and compromise.
In other words, stories help kids practice discernment in a safe place.
That’s one reason I love writing Christian fantasy for kids.
Fantasy, done the right way, gives children a world where choices matter, where light and darkness are real, and where hope is not naïve.
And after Christmas, kids need hope that lasts longer than a holiday.
A gentle way to talk about “the letdown” without shaming your child
If your child is moody after Christmas, resist the urge to preach gratitude at them.
Instead, name what’s happening and offer Jesus as steadiness.
You might say:
“Sometimes after a big exciting day, our hearts feel empty afterward. That happens to all of us. But Jesus doesn’t leave when the excitement leaves. Let’s ask Him to help us be thankful and steady.”
That approach does two things:
- it removes shame
- it invites dependence on Christ
This is how faith becomes real.
Not by pretending we don’t struggle.
But by bringing our struggle into the Light.
The days after Christmas teach children that faith is not seasonal
This may be the most important point of all.
If Jesus is only celebrated during holidays, then faith becomes a decoration. A tradition. A seasonal mood.
But Jesus is Lord of every day.
Lord of December 25.
Lord of December 28.
Lord of the first Monday back at school.
Lord of ordinary chores, ordinary frustrations, ordinary mornings.
The early days of January are a gift because they let families practice something the world doesn’t teach:
faithfulness in the ordinary.
And that is where spiritual strength grows.
A quiet, practical family reset for the New Year
You don’t need a complicated New Year’s resolution plan.
A simple spiritual reset for families can sound like this:
“This year, we want to be a family that notices the Light of Jesus and reflects it.”
Then define it with three simple commitments:
- We will practice gratitude (not perfectly, but intentionally).
- We will choose a slower pace sometimes (so we can hear God).
- We will let stories shape our hearts (instead of constant noise).
That is a realistic “rule of life” for families with kids.
It’s not flashy. It’s formative.
And yes… books can be part of that gift
Let’s be honest: the days after Christmas often involve a lot of “new stuff.”
Some of that stuff will be forgotten quickly. Some will be broken by February. Some will end up at the bottom of a bin.
But every once in a while, you give a child something that becomes more than a toy.
A story can become that kind of gift.
A story can become:
- a comfort
- a companion
- a mirror
- a guide
- a quiet source of courage
If you’re looking for a gift that lasts beyond Christmas morning, consider giving your child a story that aims their heart toward the Light.
That’s one reason I created Cat Luker and the world of The Swamp Witch Chronicles. Not to replace Scripture, not to compete with the gospel, but to offer families a faith-shaped adventure where kids can see courage, temptation, friendship, and hope through a lens that honors Jesus.
A book can be a gift you open once.
Or it can be a gift that keeps giving every time a child returns to it.
And the days after Christmas are a perfect time for that kind of gift.
Because when the holiday rush fades, children often need something steady to come back to.
A good story can help.
A short blessing for the days after Christmas
If you want a simple way to close a day this week, try speaking a short blessing over your child. Preteens may pretend they don’t care, but words land deeper than they show.
Here is one you can use:
Jesus, Light of the world, stay near to our home.
When the excitement fades, give us joy.
When we want more, give us gratitude.
When we feel restless, give us peace.
Teach us to carry Your Light into ordinary days.
And let our family reflect You, not just celebrate a season. Amen.
Closing: The wrapping paper is gone, but the Light remains
Christmas morning is wonderful.
But the days after Christmas quietly reveal what Christmas truly means.
They teach children that joy is not the same as excitement.
They teach children that gratitude is stronger than craving.
They teach children that faith is not seasonal.
They teach children that Jesus is not a decoration. He is a Savior.
And that is the great gift of the “after.”
Because the Light we celebrate at Christmas is not meant to stay trapped in one morning.
It is meant to be carried forward.
Into the quiet.
Into the ordinary.
Into the New Year.
Into a life shaped by Jesus.
So when the tree comes down and the house looks normal again, you can tell your child the truth:
We are still in the story.
The Light is still here.
And by God’s grace, we will carry it.